I have been standing on the sidelines in this years election season, as a Brit you could say that is fair enough, I have no business meddling in the affairs of American politics, and I have to respect your process. Be that as it may, I can no longer hold my tongue regarding such an important issue, on what could be a pivotal day in US history, Super Tees Day.
Now, I know all the kids are into robots, zombies, vampires, and ninjas; yes, they are all truly awesome in their own unqiue ways, but there is of course a dark side to each and every one of those candidates.
Vampires may have strong and well thought out policies on blood donation, but they have lost their way in recent years, becoming soft, sparkly, not holding true to their beliefs, and becoming strangely besotted with Kristen Stewart. Can you really trust someone with that kind of record as a flip flopper?
Zombies aren’t much better, they only want one thing and that is to tear this country and your flesh apart, and we must halt this slow march to the White House before it has a chance to gather momentum.
Robots? You think that just because we created them they will do our bidding? Ask any parent and they will tell you that this is just not the case at all, and if it doesn’t work with teenagers why would it work with machines? Anyway, isn’t the real issue here who is behind the robots? Whose pulling the strings? Is it the vampires? I’m not saying it is but don’t you think it’s funny that no one else is asking these questions, no one is saying they aren’t true, no one has come out to say that the vampires have formed a coalition with robots and are manipulating them behind the scenes to overthrow the status quo in this country and fundamentally change the way that we go about our daily lives? But hey, I’m just one man, no need to listen to the crazy man connecting all these little things and seeing the bigger picture.
Let’s take a closer look at the ninjas… actually they’re pretty cool, they wear black and throw pointy stars at people. Still, I wouldn’t really want to be governed by someone that would kill me in my sleep, and I doubt you would either.
So where does this leave us? Trying to pick between the best of a bad situation? No. There’s a better choice and a better way for us all, someone that can lead this nation towards the light and make us great again.
Pandas. Pandas with milk mustaches. Pandas casually doing pull ups on a tree branch because that body doesn’t just take care of itself. Pandas sneezing and scaring their parents. Pandas doing yoga. There is literally nothing that a panda does that isn’t adorable, cute, hilarious, or inspiring.
Pandas have a strong defense policy that will protect our borders, allow them to roam free and they are peaceful animals, but pen them in, prod them with a stick or invade their space and they will defend themselves, their family, and their country. Some say that the highly intelligent panda is elitist, accusing him of preferring arugula to the traditional bamboo, come on, just because a bear is educated and likes a peppery salad leaf does not make him elitist, it makes him an individual, and the right choice in this election, so go to the polls and vote panda.
Threadless are running a these special tees over the next month to try and make the long hard run to the polls in the US election a bit more fun, and I’m delighted that they asked HYA to be involved. I’ll be coming up with silly posts over the next few weeks, if you can give me any reasons why pandas are awesome and everything else sucks please do let me know in the comments.